They’re all all fucking assholecuntfacedmutherfuckingdouchebages.
I mean it. I have not met a man since fucking motherfucking Luke left me that was worthy of ten minutes of my time. That is a slight exaggeration but seriously SLIGHT. I directly referred to one on my last blog but now its all just a fucking shit show they’re all assholes I fucking can’t even deal with it at all.
Either they want to fuck you for no reason
or
they won’t just fuck you for no reason.
By that I mean that you can only JUST fuck assholes and then you feel like shit and then all the other ones want some serious relationship crap. I’m sorry but im fucking 21. Is it so FUCKING ridiculous that I just want someone to bang who I can feel like I wasn’t just completely used by??? Apparently it is. FYI, don’t fucking bother.
The best part? Maybe, depending on how careful you are about your friends, about 75% of them will ditch you for cock.
I try to have a fucking night out with Kaitlyn, I end up twiddling my thumbs alone as I contemplate the fact that my potential fuck buddy turned into a fucking stalker.
I’m not exaggerating.
He’s seriously shown up at my front door unannounced 3 times. I’ve known him for a little more than a month. He sends me these fucking love letters, then when I realize OBVIOUSLY (stupidstupidstupid me) that he can’t fucking carry on a casual relationship, I break it off.
What does the mutherfucker do???
HE STALKS THE SHIT OUTTA ME
Then to top his MADNESS off he fucking messages Kaitlyn as some kind of IDONTEVENKNOW last ditch effort to like vent or make moves on her or contact me. I don’t know!!!! He sends her a HUGE essay long message describing what a neurotic bitch I am and then proceeds to write me a 4 page word doc that apologizes for all the shit he just told Kaitlyn he blames me for. Now he expects me to forgive him and to see him again! WHAT THE FUCK
Men are women.
Women are men.
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Friday, 16 March 2012
Give me a second, I need to get my story straight, my friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State
Where to start.....
Well tomorrow’s my very favorite day of the year! St. patties day muthafuckaaas. It’s spring time, the weather is sweet, I get to dress up and get shitfaced all day and all night? Yes, that is perfection.
Not an alcoholic I swear.
Ignore the wine in my hand currently.
Anywayz I will be attending (hopefully) two keggers tomorrow. Although it really is hard to say what drunk me will decide to do with sober me’s plans. This first of these keggers is hosted by my rez roommate, Jen, who lives with our other first year friend, Sam, and their house of people. A couple weeks ago a bunch of us went out and were predrinking at this house and there was a very cute boy there named Brandon. Total typical hipster kid. Button up shirt buttoned up all the way up to and including the collar. No tie. Chuck Taylors. Just my type really. Anyway him and his buddy went out to the bar before us but I made a, note-to-self, to find him at the bar and chat him up.
Present at the bar that night:
Justin: I mentioned him a few posts ago, a hot (hipster) kid with an owl tatt. The night I was writing about him we were going out with him and I was hoping that it would go somewhere. It did. He came back and slept over and we had some great sex. I got to pet the owl if ya know what I’m sayin’.... Anyways this freakshow of a kid talks to me on and off for a while, ends up sleeping over another time but nothing happened as it was aunt flow’s monthly visit. Then about a week later he takes me out on a date. Where do we go you ask? Well it was the utmost of high class society, and I just swooned:
Swiss Chalet.
I fuck you not. Kid takes me out to wine and dine me at Swiss Chalet. I duno if he’s trying to keep it ambiguous as maybe just friends or what, but needless to say I was pretty confused. Anyways the date that night went decently and I was looking forward to a follow up.
Haven’t heard from him since.
This night at the bar was my first time seeing him in weeks.
Darik: Yet another good hipster boy. We hooked up a couple times in January. After the second time it came up in conversation that I wasn’t on the pill, but we had been using condoms, so whatever I figure, no harm, no foul. I get a text the Tuesday after a weekend we had hooked up:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to keep hooking up since you’re not on birth control.”
Uhh... kay? I said something along the lines of, sounds good, take care. But honestly? Is a condom not birth control? Fucking men. Can’t wait until there’s a daily pill for them to fuckin take.
Steve: Him and I hit it off at the bar one night and I gave him my number. We sent several days worth of flirty texts back and forth till he asked me out for coffee. I said sure. This was in December. By this night at the bar (February), though we had talked occasionally, he never set anything up. I figured, ehh whatever, he doesn’t want to go for coffee, that’s fine with me.
So by the time we all get into the bar I’m quite hammered. Thank. God.
I realize the situation that I am now in and laugh maniacally to myself. The night went something as follows:
- danced
- said hi to Justin, he gave me the worlds fastest hug and dashed off, never to be seen or heard from again
- said hi to Darik... we don’t go any further than that. this night or ever.
- exchanged a small conversation with Steve
- found Brandon and proceed to have extensive conversation with him about music and life
- find myself making out with Brandon about 5 feet away from Steve
After all this a bunch of us are on our way out and I am good and ready to take Brandon home with me. As soon as we leave the bar one of Brandon’s friends starts yelling at these girls, calling them all sorts of awful things, cunts, cows, telling them, its no wonder they don’t have any guys with them, etc.
So the girls turn to me and my girlfriend, Sam, and are like, ‘what the fuck is wrong with your friend?’. We both pretty much tell her we have no idea what the kid's problem is and she can have at’em.
So picture two scantily clad drunk girls trying to attack some skinny ass white douchebag kid while they’re all screaming obscenities at each other. LOL right? Jeezuz. When the madness ends I’m with Sam, Brandon, and one of Brandon’s friends. I’m upset and giving Brandon the cold shoulder in the cab because I do not understand how he could be friends and have defended such a douche as the kid aforementioned. He spends the whollllle cab ride back trying to make up for it. When we get back to Sam’s house, I do not remember how it happened, but her and Brandon end up having a heart to heart in the downstairs living room. I sneak onto the stairs and eavesdrop and Brandon is essentially spilling how he doesn’t like the douchebag kid, but they’ve been friends since diapers and he had to stick up for him so he didn’t get into trouble.
I’m sympathetic and eventually when they come back up I’m all smiles with Brandon. Nothing else happened between us that night, probably because of a combo of reasons. Namely the fact that he was too scared to make the first move, and I passed out on a couch.
So that whollllle big story was leading up to one very easily told fact: Brandon’s going to the kegger tomorrow. There’s a whole bunch of people going to this kegger and many of them might be cute, so I’m not banking on a follow up, but it’s nice to know that the option might be available. At very least will give me something to have fun with. 8 > (evil smile?)
That’s my story for today.
p.s Steve texted me the Monday after the weekend previously described and said, ‘heyyy, what’s up? I’ve missed talking to you!”
Fucking men.
Only want you when they can't have you.
Today's title brought to you by: We are Young - Fun. ft Janelle Monae
Well tomorrow’s my very favorite day of the year! St. patties day muthafuckaaas. It’s spring time, the weather is sweet, I get to dress up and get shitfaced all day and all night? Yes, that is perfection.
Not an alcoholic I swear.
Ignore the wine in my hand currently.
Anywayz I will be attending (hopefully) two keggers tomorrow. Although it really is hard to say what drunk me will decide to do with sober me’s plans. This first of these keggers is hosted by my rez roommate, Jen, who lives with our other first year friend, Sam, and their house of people. A couple weeks ago a bunch of us went out and were predrinking at this house and there was a very cute boy there named Brandon. Total typical hipster kid. Button up shirt buttoned up all the way up to and including the collar. No tie. Chuck Taylors. Just my type really. Anyway him and his buddy went out to the bar before us but I made a, note-to-self, to find him at the bar and chat him up.
Present at the bar that night:
Justin: I mentioned him a few posts ago, a hot (hipster) kid with an owl tatt. The night I was writing about him we were going out with him and I was hoping that it would go somewhere. It did. He came back and slept over and we had some great sex. I got to pet the owl if ya know what I’m sayin’.... Anyways this freakshow of a kid talks to me on and off for a while, ends up sleeping over another time but nothing happened as it was aunt flow’s monthly visit. Then about a week later he takes me out on a date. Where do we go you ask? Well it was the utmost of high class society, and I just swooned:
Swiss Chalet.
I fuck you not. Kid takes me out to wine and dine me at Swiss Chalet. I duno if he’s trying to keep it ambiguous as maybe just friends or what, but needless to say I was pretty confused. Anyways the date that night went decently and I was looking forward to a follow up.
Haven’t heard from him since.
This night at the bar was my first time seeing him in weeks.
Darik: Yet another good hipster boy. We hooked up a couple times in January. After the second time it came up in conversation that I wasn’t on the pill, but we had been using condoms, so whatever I figure, no harm, no foul. I get a text the Tuesday after a weekend we had hooked up:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to keep hooking up since you’re not on birth control.”
Uhh... kay? I said something along the lines of, sounds good, take care. But honestly? Is a condom not birth control? Fucking men. Can’t wait until there’s a daily pill for them to fuckin take.
Steve: Him and I hit it off at the bar one night and I gave him my number. We sent several days worth of flirty texts back and forth till he asked me out for coffee. I said sure. This was in December. By this night at the bar (February), though we had talked occasionally, he never set anything up. I figured, ehh whatever, he doesn’t want to go for coffee, that’s fine with me.
So by the time we all get into the bar I’m quite hammered. Thank. God.
I realize the situation that I am now in and laugh maniacally to myself. The night went something as follows:
- danced
- said hi to Justin, he gave me the worlds fastest hug and dashed off, never to be seen or heard from again
- said hi to Darik... we don’t go any further than that. this night or ever.
- exchanged a small conversation with Steve
- found Brandon and proceed to have extensive conversation with him about music and life
- find myself making out with Brandon about 5 feet away from Steve
After all this a bunch of us are on our way out and I am good and ready to take Brandon home with me. As soon as we leave the bar one of Brandon’s friends starts yelling at these girls, calling them all sorts of awful things, cunts, cows, telling them, its no wonder they don’t have any guys with them, etc.
So the girls turn to me and my girlfriend, Sam, and are like, ‘what the fuck is wrong with your friend?’. We both pretty much tell her we have no idea what the kid's problem is and she can have at’em.
So picture two scantily clad drunk girls trying to attack some skinny ass white douchebag kid while they’re all screaming obscenities at each other. LOL right? Jeezuz. When the madness ends I’m with Sam, Brandon, and one of Brandon’s friends. I’m upset and giving Brandon the cold shoulder in the cab because I do not understand how he could be friends and have defended such a douche as the kid aforementioned. He spends the whollllle cab ride back trying to make up for it. When we get back to Sam’s house, I do not remember how it happened, but her and Brandon end up having a heart to heart in the downstairs living room. I sneak onto the stairs and eavesdrop and Brandon is essentially spilling how he doesn’t like the douchebag kid, but they’ve been friends since diapers and he had to stick up for him so he didn’t get into trouble.
I’m sympathetic and eventually when they come back up I’m all smiles with Brandon. Nothing else happened between us that night, probably because of a combo of reasons. Namely the fact that he was too scared to make the first move, and I passed out on a couch.
So that whollllle big story was leading up to one very easily told fact: Brandon’s going to the kegger tomorrow. There’s a whole bunch of people going to this kegger and many of them might be cute, so I’m not banking on a follow up, but it’s nice to know that the option might be available. At very least will give me something to have fun with. 8 > (evil smile?)
That’s my story for today.
p.s Steve texted me the Monday after the weekend previously described and said, ‘heyyy, what’s up? I’ve missed talking to you!”
Fucking men.
Only want you when they can't have you.
Today's title brought to you by: We are Young - Fun. ft Janelle Monae
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