So. Single me is up to mischief again.
Last weekend I had to come home to my parents place in the big city to dog-sit for a night. Now I am not one to just sit around willy-nilly and let an empty house go to waste. So after considering who to invite over I decided on a former hook-up who I had been lately exchanging some sexually sugges-texts with, Brad. Brad and I had a couple one night affairs last spring when I was a fucking mess over my Luke heartbreak. Needless to say I was hopelessly hammered both times. From what I remembered he was a good time, and I love that he can keep up with my racy humor without flinching.
So Friday comes along and I'm having some wine with my dogs to calm my nerves before he arrives. I managed to get quite tipsy, although I don't think he noticed one bit. Now Brad upon first appearance is your A-typical 'bro'. He's blonde, buff, well off, and thinks quite highly of himself. Usually I wouldn't actually bother with these kind of guys except for a one night only bar hook up, but Brad is one of those boys who was super awkward and kinda chubby until the age of about 17. I find that those boys who only get good looking later in life usually have some semblance of a good personality somewhere in them. With Brad this is fairly true. He's a nice guy for the most part. Egoistic and a bit of an ass, but in a way that I find funny to fuck around with. Just can't take these ones too seriously.
Anyways, he brought a bottle of cab-sauv for us, so we sat in my kitchen catching up and chatting for a couple hours while we finished the wine. This was actually really fun and I was happy that there wasn't any awkwardness. Unfortunately that was the best part of my night. After the wine was done conversation kinda died out a bit and it was clear that the time had come to, 'shit or get off the pot,' if you want to put it in classy terms.
Upstairs to my room we went, and everything started well. He's a pretty good kisser, strongstrongstrong and a fabbbbby body. Then things began to take a turn for the worse. The moment of truth came to take off the navy blue briefs and check out what he's packin.
His penis looked like a boomerang.
Okay maybe a bit harsh... but there was a definite and obvious bend. The disappointment did not stop there though, it was also not very long and was skinny. I'm sorry boys, but if you have a skinny dick... I duno what to do for ya. I would take short and stocky over long and skinny any day (just me?). Matters only got worse from there my friends. I don't know how you can get to be 24 and a good looking guy and still suck as bad as he did in bed. When he was on top it was missionary nothing more. I was fakin the noises and just tryinnng to enjoy it but ugh. I spent the time he was on top staring at the ceiling thinking, "how the hell did I not remember it being this bad???"
But wait! There's more,
When he decided he'd put in enough work he'd just roll off, look at me and say, "you want to take a turn on top?", and like maybe if he'd only pulled that stunt once I wouldn't mind... but this happened at least 4 times. Verbatim. I worked my ass off on top, my legs hurt for days. And it wasn't even good! When I was on top at one point he looks at me deadpan and says, "I'm gonna cum." I was like, "... yea?" in my sexy voice trying to salvage the situation. "yea," he says. and then kinda lifts me up and I roll over onto the bed next to him thinking, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME" Like the boy makes no noises or signs of enjoyment the whole time and then, "I'm gonna cum," like he's rsvp-ing to a party for fucksake.
The real kicker to this whole story though? In the course of our fucking my bed moved like 5 feet from the wall and my lamp fell off my desk and nearly broke. I would have been so upset if it had broken. You only want stuff like that to happen when you can go home to your friends and brag, "we fucked the bed into the middle of the room and broke a lamp," not, "I spent most of the time on top and worked so hard that I almost broke my lamp which would've sucked when I would have had to try to explain it to my parents when they got home..."
Of course I think Brad was quite pleased with himself when he saw the damage done to my room.
So he slept over and the next morning I kicked him out ASAP and vowed to avoid that from happening again at all costs.
Lesson learned: don't drink, fuck and repeat sober.
Today's title brought to you by: Not Fair - Lily Allen
Friday, 9 December 2011
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Dice Game
I have realized that I totally forgot to add the drinking game I mentioned at the end of my last post. It's oh-so-creatively called the dice game because... it involves dice! Ohmygawsh I know who woulda thunk. But seriously this game doesn't need a name because you'd get too fucked up to remember it anyways. Here it is:
1. Have 2 die
2. Have 2 cups a person, one for drinking and one with a refill
3. First person rolls
4. If they do not roll doubles or a combined total of 7 the next person rolls
OR
4. If doubles or a 7 is rolled the roller gets to choose someone in the group to drink
5. As soon as the drinker touches their cup the roller begins rolling the dice again
6. If the roller rolls a combined total of 7 or doubles the drinker has to stop drinking and refill their cup
7. Continue steps 5 & 6 until the drinker finishes their drink before the roller rolls 7 or doubles
8. Pass the dice to the next person
Extras
--> the dice roller cannot touch the dice after they have rolled doubles or 7 until the drinker touches their cup
--> if you have a big enough group once the game really gets going, chances are the roller will get caught up in a conversation at some point, if you are the drinker, take advantage of this!
WARNING
gets you super fucked up super fast
do not be a dumbass and try to operate a vehicle after playing the dice game.
ENJOY!
1. Have 2 die
2. Have 2 cups a person, one for drinking and one with a refill
3. First person rolls
4. If they do not roll doubles or a combined total of 7 the next person rolls
OR
4. If doubles or a 7 is rolled the roller gets to choose someone in the group to drink
5. As soon as the drinker touches their cup the roller begins rolling the dice again
6. If the roller rolls a combined total of 7 or doubles the drinker has to stop drinking and refill their cup
7. Continue steps 5 & 6 until the drinker finishes their drink before the roller rolls 7 or doubles
8. Pass the dice to the next person
Extras
--> the dice roller cannot touch the dice after they have rolled doubles or 7 until the drinker touches their cup
--> if you have a big enough group once the game really gets going, chances are the roller will get caught up in a conversation at some point, if you are the drinker, take advantage of this!
WARNING
gets you super fucked up super fast
do not be a dumbass and try to operate a vehicle after playing the dice game.
ENJOY!
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
you already know though, you only live once, that's the motto
So a lot has happened since my the time when my last post went down and now. I'm hoping that I'll be able to randomly come back to good stories when I have some free time, but as of right now I am in the midst of my fourth year finals and have 0 time. Which explains why I spent the last hour on funny auto corrects..... man that shit gets me every time.
Anyways if you care to be updated with the tragedies in my romantic life and follow my other blog you'll know that I have recently gone through a break up and am now happily single. My goal is no new kills till the new year. 2011 was a bit of a big year... Dealt with heartbreak the wrong way. So far I've been sex-less for 3 weeks. That probably doesn't sound like a lot, but I'm a serial dater, so I really haven't spent to much time without somebody to love since I started dating. I'm happy that I'm not just sleeping around to fulfill my intimacy needs (aka my Jan-Jun of 2011) but I'm also getting a little ancy in my pant-cys. Anyways here are my stories.
Friday
My best friend at school (Vanessa, aka: Ness) was supposed to go to the town her sister lives in, about an hour West of here, for her sister's birthday. I don't really know Ness' sister at all, so I was never intending to go, but when Ness found out that her sister's verbally abusive, d-bag of an ex was going to be there as well as Ness' own ex, she asked if I would tag along for mental support. I, oh-so-reluctantly obliged, I mean partying out of town... gawd Ness. Not my scene.
Hah, lies. Obviously I was stoked. Any excuse to drink, meet people and avoid hitting the books. So after a day of being semi-productive we hit the road. The party started off with this cute little food and drink festival. Basically we got tickets (a dollar each) and circulated this market and got to try little samplers of any of the food we liked. Most of it was bite-sized, but also only cost one ticket! So we got to try some swanky (3 ticket) wine, some amaaazing butter chicken and listen to a chillin jazz band. It was a really nice way to start off the evening. I kept saying to Ness that if our pre-party was this classy there was only direction for the night to go from there.... slopppyyy.
When we got back to the apartment we all started drinking and set up a drinking game, which I will share with you at the end, because it is so very fun and gets you so very drunk. Ness and her sister got drunk the fastest by far but the boys and I kept drinking longest forsure. The next day Ness recalled taking her sister's 'ex' outside to talk to him about treating her sister right. Some of her threats included:
"I will find you"
"I will cut you"
"I will burn down your house"
Hahahahahaha. Love the girl. She's a badass, and cute as a button. I vaguely remember giving Steve a glare and saying, you better treat both those girls right. GIRL POWER!!
So the other ex in the room was Ness' ex-boyfriend, Nick. Nick and I got along really well when they dated. He's quirky and sarcastic, so we shared a lot of the same humor. Since my brutal break up (discussed in detail in L&L) with my ex. Luke in January, I have/had been searching for someone who understood where I was coming from. When I heard about the break up between Ness and Nick, my heart went out to him because I understood. After the split he did somethings he never should have that really put him in Ness' black books. Rightfully so on her part, but I understand the place his actions came from. So when we heard he would be at the party we were both a little worried shit might go down. All was well though and they were cool with each other, although Nick did get wastttted and end up on the bathroom floor. But lets rewind to pre-shitfaced.
At one point I saw the boys head outside and I figured that they were heading for a smoke, so I went out in hopes of bumming, I was quite successful. While we were out there (I don't totally recall details) I started talking to Nick about what had happened with him and Ness. We had a longlong chat about how fucked up heartbreak is and how much it hurts and why doesn't it stop and I think by the end he was finding some sort of solace in knowing he wasn't alone. I know that even though it's a bit late and I've already had to find comfort in other places (for lack of options: see above sleeping around reference), but even now, having someone who actually felt what I felt and knew how black a hole life can be after love.. well it made me feel justified for all my crap over the last 11 months.
The next highlight of my night was Nick's little brother, Ryan. Ironically enough, Nick and Ness used to talk about setting the two of us up but that never actually followed through. I guess I noticed him checkin me out and I was bored (everyone started winding down and thinking about bed) so I asked him to go for a walk. We stayed out for at least 3 hours talking. Didn't go back in before 5am. I have realized that it was very much me monologuing, haha, but he was a great listener, and everything he did say was clever and poignant (esp. considering he's a year younger!). I kept telling him he was the most mature boy I'd met in ages, which is the dead truth, men are mentally so much younger than women. Of course, Ryan is the proven exception. So after a while we found ourselves sitting very close together on the fire escape stairs to Ness' sister's apartment. I have realized that I am a first-mover. I am almost always the one who goes in for the kill. So, true to form, I pulled his head towards mine and had my first make out as a truly single bitty. It wasn't that great to be honest, never did I notice his age more than when we kissed. But he was so nice. We ended up havin a hot and heavy make out sesh inside, but this had to be very quiet and subtle considering his brother was passed out cold on the couch beside us (we took the floor) and Ness and her sister and Steve were in the bedrooms. When all was said and done, I got to sleep in someone's arms again, which lemme tell ya, felt real good. Him and Nick had to leave early in the morn for work so we just smiled knowingly at each other and said goodbye. More on this to come...
So that was the better part of my weekend
for now, peacceee...
today's title brought to you by: The Motto - Drake ft. Lil Wayne
Anyways if you care to be updated with the tragedies in my romantic life and follow my other blog you'll know that I have recently gone through a break up and am now happily single. My goal is no new kills till the new year. 2011 was a bit of a big year... Dealt with heartbreak the wrong way. So far I've been sex-less for 3 weeks. That probably doesn't sound like a lot, but I'm a serial dater, so I really haven't spent to much time without somebody to love since I started dating. I'm happy that I'm not just sleeping around to fulfill my intimacy needs (aka my Jan-Jun of 2011) but I'm also getting a little ancy in my pant-cys. Anyways here are my stories.
Friday
My best friend at school (Vanessa, aka: Ness) was supposed to go to the town her sister lives in, about an hour West of here, for her sister's birthday. I don't really know Ness' sister at all, so I was never intending to go, but when Ness found out that her sister's verbally abusive, d-bag of an ex was going to be there as well as Ness' own ex, she asked if I would tag along for mental support. I, oh-so-reluctantly obliged, I mean partying out of town... gawd Ness. Not my scene.
Hah, lies. Obviously I was stoked. Any excuse to drink, meet people and avoid hitting the books. So after a day of being semi-productive we hit the road. The party started off with this cute little food and drink festival. Basically we got tickets (a dollar each) and circulated this market and got to try little samplers of any of the food we liked. Most of it was bite-sized, but also only cost one ticket! So we got to try some swanky (3 ticket) wine, some amaaazing butter chicken and listen to a chillin jazz band. It was a really nice way to start off the evening. I kept saying to Ness that if our pre-party was this classy there was only direction for the night to go from there.... slopppyyy.
When we got back to the apartment we all started drinking and set up a drinking game, which I will share with you at the end, because it is so very fun and gets you so very drunk. Ness and her sister got drunk the fastest by far but the boys and I kept drinking longest forsure. The next day Ness recalled taking her sister's 'ex' outside to talk to him about treating her sister right. Some of her threats included:
"I will find you"
"I will cut you"
"I will burn down your house"
Hahahahahaha. Love the girl. She's a badass, and cute as a button. I vaguely remember giving Steve a glare and saying, you better treat both those girls right. GIRL POWER!!
So the other ex in the room was Ness' ex-boyfriend, Nick. Nick and I got along really well when they dated. He's quirky and sarcastic, so we shared a lot of the same humor. Since my brutal break up (discussed in detail in L&L) with my ex. Luke in January, I have/had been searching for someone who understood where I was coming from. When I heard about the break up between Ness and Nick, my heart went out to him because I understood. After the split he did somethings he never should have that really put him in Ness' black books. Rightfully so on her part, but I understand the place his actions came from. So when we heard he would be at the party we were both a little worried shit might go down. All was well though and they were cool with each other, although Nick did get wastttted and end up on the bathroom floor. But lets rewind to pre-shitfaced.
At one point I saw the boys head outside and I figured that they were heading for a smoke, so I went out in hopes of bumming, I was quite successful. While we were out there (I don't totally recall details) I started talking to Nick about what had happened with him and Ness. We had a longlong chat about how fucked up heartbreak is and how much it hurts and why doesn't it stop and I think by the end he was finding some sort of solace in knowing he wasn't alone. I know that even though it's a bit late and I've already had to find comfort in other places (for lack of options: see above sleeping around reference), but even now, having someone who actually felt what I felt and knew how black a hole life can be after love.. well it made me feel justified for all my crap over the last 11 months.
The next highlight of my night was Nick's little brother, Ryan. Ironically enough, Nick and Ness used to talk about setting the two of us up but that never actually followed through. I guess I noticed him checkin me out and I was bored (everyone started winding down and thinking about bed) so I asked him to go for a walk. We stayed out for at least 3 hours talking. Didn't go back in before 5am. I have realized that it was very much me monologuing, haha, but he was a great listener, and everything he did say was clever and poignant (esp. considering he's a year younger!). I kept telling him he was the most mature boy I'd met in ages, which is the dead truth, men are mentally so much younger than women. Of course, Ryan is the proven exception. So after a while we found ourselves sitting very close together on the fire escape stairs to Ness' sister's apartment. I have realized that I am a first-mover. I am almost always the one who goes in for the kill. So, true to form, I pulled his head towards mine and had my first make out as a truly single bitty. It wasn't that great to be honest, never did I notice his age more than when we kissed. But he was so nice. We ended up havin a hot and heavy make out sesh inside, but this had to be very quiet and subtle considering his brother was passed out cold on the couch beside us (we took the floor) and Ness and her sister and Steve were in the bedrooms. When all was said and done, I got to sleep in someone's arms again, which lemme tell ya, felt real good. Him and Nick had to leave early in the morn for work so we just smiled knowingly at each other and said goodbye. More on this to come...
So that was the better part of my weekend
for now, peacceee...
today's title brought to you by: The Motto - Drake ft. Lil Wayne
Friday, 18 November 2011
All the crazy shit I did tonight, those will be the best memories
May 16
After Thursday we spent Friday hungover-edly perusing about downtown we all headed home to recover. A said she’d call me after she finished work and maybe we’d grab a few beers. I sincerely doubted this after the night we had, had and went about my day unsuspecting of the adventures ahead. I went by my firefighting friend Danny's place for a beer and some making out action. He’s a good friend, and has been for a long time, but I am really not interested in him for anything more than a quick fuck. He seems, of late, to be forgetting this, telling me what beautiful eyes I have and how soft my lips are. For someone who does not make me swoon and write Mrs. Firefighter in my notebooks, this kind of talk is a huge turn off, so when A called me up rarin’ for round two, I welcomed the excuse to get out of there early.
I met A and her sister on King West around midnight. We decided we wanted to try out the Bier Market, since we’ve heard good things. I got there first, and was standing solo in the miserable rain when a lovely Lithuanian 40 yr old offered to share his umbrella. I say lovely with sarcasm, but he wasn’t that bad. Anyways when we finally all got inside it was packed to the point of low breathing room while a (pretty good) live band swallowed any hope of conversation. It was the swanky 25 and up crowd and we were under dressed and under funded. As you might guess, we weren’t really feeling it. We stayed for one novel beer (I strongly recommend Extra Special if you’re ever at a place with a wide selection), and left. The pub we had planned to go to had a live band from Halifax and cover was $15 so we opted to find something else. Down the street from the pub was an obvious college bar called, Tequila Jacks. It was busy, busy, and looked like fun so we decided to do it up. Thinking we were gonna be at a pub I was in skinny jeans and a loose tank top, which was not really fitting with the small skirted, grinding club-goers. Unrelenting, I tied my shirt up with an elastic band at the side to flaunt some skin and we absolutely made the best of it.
After downing 5 shots and a couple mixed drinks, we were rockin out hard to the beats on the dance floor. The creepers we had to fend off at the Maddy had nothing on these guys. This was horny, just-legal central. Most of the boys were meathead bros, total wieners. But, we remained undaunted by this fact and were satisfied with dancing with each other. I made it my personal goal to get onto the stage they had in the center of the bar and work it out for a bit, and after not so long I had some one tap me on the shoulder and offer a hand. A later told me that he was ugly as sin, but I couldn’t have cared less, I just wanted the spotlight for a little while. A’s big sister is somewhat of a prude and got into the party life later than us, to say the least. So A and I were both doing a bit of baby-sitting. Later on, though, to my great surprise, we looked over to see her talking very intimately with a pretty cute guy. Enjoying this extra boost of freedom A and I went out to tear it up on the d.floor. Before long a boy creeps up behind me.
Now these situations are always awkward because you can either just walk away assuming the boy was a creep or you can turn around awkwardly and check him out and then decide. Neither of these options is particularly ideal so way-back-when, on our grad trip, A, our other friend, and I made up a clever technique that I think should most definitely be shared with the world. When a boy comes up behind you, lean to your friend and ask, “how’s the weather?”. Your friend then either responds with, “hot” or “cold”, depending on if the boy is worthy of your hot ass on his grinding pelvic region orrr not-so-much. It’s pretty effective.
So! At this point in the night I ask A, “how’s the weather?” and she responded with, “hot”. Game on. In the dark this boy was pretty impressive. He was taller than me (standing at 5’’11 that’s always a huge plus), big arms, solid chest and a great kisser. So for a while I thoroughly enjoyed his company. In the meantime A had hooked up with his friend and they were playfully joking around and dancing. Somewhere in this time A’s sister came up to her and said not to worry about her, but she was leaving with her boy. World, I cannot tell you how proud of her I am for this bold move. Still loving it as I recall it. Eventually it was, yet again, lights up, and we were still full of energy. So the boys ask us to go back to their friends place in the UofT rez (SO WEIRD), oh right, they were a year younger...anyways we get back and smoke some weed, and chill out with the boys and their friends. My boy was dessssperately trying to get me to go do the nasty with him in the fucking common room their rez had. Needless to say I was not down. He was, however, a baller, for reasons that are.. less than legal, and was more than willing to shell out for a hotel room, or so he kept telling me. Ah I have neglected two very important facts. I was HORRIFIED to discover in the light that he was not only :
1. a total pizza, butter face, but also,
2. He. Had. Braces.
I know, I know. Disgusting, I would normally never do it, but he was a cool kid, and he knew how to press my buttons. So after watching these boys act like 14 year old idiots, completely trashing a rez lounge (I’m talking, tossing yogurt across the room, stealing people’s leftovers, being total utter douchebags) A and I were getting fed up. We agreed to get a hotel room if they shelled out... later we discussed why each of us said, ‘yes’, to that and realized that neither of us actually wanted to... but to the point, we started to leave this friggen university rez (people had yelled at us to STFU, terribly sorry to all them, it was embarrassing) and then the boys just went and sat in the room for like 10 minutes. During that time A and I made an executive decision to leave. We went in, said a vauge, “nice to meet you and thanks for the maryjane” and left. I heard my cutie yell, “I wanted to fuck you!”. Such sweet boys.
On the way back to A’s place we saw a misty dawn. I went to sleep at 6.30am after a very unexpected and interesting night. All in all, another adventurous weekend. Till next time, peace and love
Today's title brought to you by: Memories - Kid CuDi ft. David Guetta
After Thursday we spent Friday hungover-edly perusing about downtown we all headed home to recover. A said she’d call me after she finished work and maybe we’d grab a few beers. I sincerely doubted this after the night we had, had and went about my day unsuspecting of the adventures ahead. I went by my firefighting friend Danny's place for a beer and some making out action. He’s a good friend, and has been for a long time, but I am really not interested in him for anything more than a quick fuck. He seems, of late, to be forgetting this, telling me what beautiful eyes I have and how soft my lips are. For someone who does not make me swoon and write Mrs. Firefighter in my notebooks, this kind of talk is a huge turn off, so when A called me up rarin’ for round two, I welcomed the excuse to get out of there early.
I met A and her sister on King West around midnight. We decided we wanted to try out the Bier Market, since we’ve heard good things. I got there first, and was standing solo in the miserable rain when a lovely Lithuanian 40 yr old offered to share his umbrella. I say lovely with sarcasm, but he wasn’t that bad. Anyways when we finally all got inside it was packed to the point of low breathing room while a (pretty good) live band swallowed any hope of conversation. It was the swanky 25 and up crowd and we were under dressed and under funded. As you might guess, we weren’t really feeling it. We stayed for one novel beer (I strongly recommend Extra Special if you’re ever at a place with a wide selection), and left. The pub we had planned to go to had a live band from Halifax and cover was $15 so we opted to find something else. Down the street from the pub was an obvious college bar called, Tequila Jacks. It was busy, busy, and looked like fun so we decided to do it up. Thinking we were gonna be at a pub I was in skinny jeans and a loose tank top, which was not really fitting with the small skirted, grinding club-goers. Unrelenting, I tied my shirt up with an elastic band at the side to flaunt some skin and we absolutely made the best of it.
After downing 5 shots and a couple mixed drinks, we were rockin out hard to the beats on the dance floor. The creepers we had to fend off at the Maddy had nothing on these guys. This was horny, just-legal central. Most of the boys were meathead bros, total wieners. But, we remained undaunted by this fact and were satisfied with dancing with each other. I made it my personal goal to get onto the stage they had in the center of the bar and work it out for a bit, and after not so long I had some one tap me on the shoulder and offer a hand. A later told me that he was ugly as sin, but I couldn’t have cared less, I just wanted the spotlight for a little while. A’s big sister is somewhat of a prude and got into the party life later than us, to say the least. So A and I were both doing a bit of baby-sitting. Later on, though, to my great surprise, we looked over to see her talking very intimately with a pretty cute guy. Enjoying this extra boost of freedom A and I went out to tear it up on the d.floor. Before long a boy creeps up behind me.
Now these situations are always awkward because you can either just walk away assuming the boy was a creep or you can turn around awkwardly and check him out and then decide. Neither of these options is particularly ideal so way-back-when, on our grad trip, A, our other friend, and I made up a clever technique that I think should most definitely be shared with the world. When a boy comes up behind you, lean to your friend and ask, “how’s the weather?”. Your friend then either responds with, “hot” or “cold”, depending on if the boy is worthy of your hot ass on his grinding pelvic region orrr not-so-much. It’s pretty effective.
So! At this point in the night I ask A, “how’s the weather?” and she responded with, “hot”. Game on. In the dark this boy was pretty impressive. He was taller than me (standing at 5’’11 that’s always a huge plus), big arms, solid chest and a great kisser. So for a while I thoroughly enjoyed his company. In the meantime A had hooked up with his friend and they were playfully joking around and dancing. Somewhere in this time A’s sister came up to her and said not to worry about her, but she was leaving with her boy. World, I cannot tell you how proud of her I am for this bold move. Still loving it as I recall it. Eventually it was, yet again, lights up, and we were still full of energy. So the boys ask us to go back to their friends place in the UofT rez (SO WEIRD), oh right, they were a year younger...anyways we get back and smoke some weed, and chill out with the boys and their friends. My boy was dessssperately trying to get me to go do the nasty with him in the fucking common room their rez had. Needless to say I was not down. He was, however, a baller, for reasons that are.. less than legal, and was more than willing to shell out for a hotel room, or so he kept telling me. Ah I have neglected two very important facts. I was HORRIFIED to discover in the light that he was not only :
1. a total pizza, butter face, but also,
2. He. Had. Braces.
I know, I know. Disgusting, I would normally never do it, but he was a cool kid, and he knew how to press my buttons. So after watching these boys act like 14 year old idiots, completely trashing a rez lounge (I’m talking, tossing yogurt across the room, stealing people’s leftovers, being total utter douchebags) A and I were getting fed up. We agreed to get a hotel room if they shelled out... later we discussed why each of us said, ‘yes’, to that and realized that neither of us actually wanted to... but to the point, we started to leave this friggen university rez (people had yelled at us to STFU, terribly sorry to all them, it was embarrassing) and then the boys just went and sat in the room for like 10 minutes. During that time A and I made an executive decision to leave. We went in, said a vauge, “nice to meet you and thanks for the maryjane” and left. I heard my cutie yell, “I wanted to fuck you!”. Such sweet boys.
On the way back to A’s place we saw a misty dawn. I went to sleep at 6.30am after a very unexpected and interesting night. All in all, another adventurous weekend. Till next time, peace and love
Today's title brought to you by: Memories - Kid CuDi ft. David Guetta
Live my life without coming up for air
May 15, 2010
So friends we’ve been at it yet again. Thursday night my wonderful roommate from university came down to visit me and A in Toronto to party hardy. She’s heard many a story of how we tear it up and couldn’t resist the opportunity to see for herself. SO, Thursday starts at 8pm with a few strong drinks while we decide what bar to hit up. We end up choosing the Madison Ave. Pub and head on over around 11. Because of where we started off we didn’t end up getting there till midnight. There was a slight line and we could see by the throngs of people outside, that it was definitely the right place to spend our night.
The poor girl in front of us in line was teetering in her little white peep toes, ankles rolling left and right. The bouncer told her, “no way, too drunk”, as her friends complained that they couldn’t afford to cab her home, insisting that she would be fine. In the end he sent her wobbling off towards a cab, a merry band of bitties moping and bitching behind her. This made us all somewhat nervous as we were not the picture of sober ourselves. We were twiddling our thumbs in line trying to look nonchalant and I hear someone yelling my name. I turn around and there, heading towards the club, is the little sister of one of the boys me and A went to high school with. Once inside we had to grab a drink together and were marveling at how old we had gotten (last time I saw her she couldn’t have been more than 15). I of course felt mature and wise in her and her friend’s presence and donned a little drunken wisdom on their innocent minds...hah
After the girls went their way, A, my roommate (aka Kaitlyn) and I, went to grab some drinks. We grabbed a table and were there for about three seconds before two guys came over to us. One of them was wearing a green and white knitted sweater that was actually quite awesome, but definitely not normal bar attire. I am sad to say I was just a little bit of a bitch and totally called him out on it. I was joking but I think he took it to heart...my bad. Anyways neither of them was particularly cute and after A and I exchanged a knowing glance we headed out to the (awesome!) patio for a smoke. I should mention that although Kaitlyn was technically with us, she was repeatedly distracted and detained by male attention. She is legitimately one of the most beautiful girls I know, but due to our preppy-jock-jerk populated university, she isn’t used to being hit on very often.
Anyhoo, out on the patio A ran into some pals from school and Kaitlyn and I went to make some friends. We met a few nice guys who we saw repeatedly through the night, but they weren’t really what we were looking for. At one point on the patio while deciding where to go, I noticed a sexxxy boy with messy shoulder length blonde hair and spacers in his ears. I pretty much immediately decided that was where we needed to be and saddled up right beside him on the bench seat. Kaitlyn took his Irish friend and unfortunately A got stuck with the ‘grenade’ of the group. She was practically rolling her eyes while he desperately tried to start a flirtatious conversation with her. I could see her ancy disinterest and her prying glances. As much as I would have loved to let her go do her own thing while I got acquainted with Matt (happens to be my favourite name..which I told him repeatedly), with her broken phone and track record of getting lost, I wasn’t willing to let her go off by herself. So I left Matt with my phone number and a kiss and went off to find some better prospects for both of us. Kaitlyn stayed behind to soak up some luck of the Irish...
A and I went off to the d.floor and fended off many a creeper as they slinked their eel-ish arms around our waists. Before long it was lights up and we were forced to find Kaitlyn and get out of there. Seeing as our party didn’t really start till 12 we all decided that we desperately wanted an after party. Earlier in the night one of A’s old boy toys invited us to one, but due to her fucked up phone and the large crowd we couldn’t find him. However, the idea had been planted and we needed to find something. While having a smoke and scouring the masses we met some very nice French boys who decided they wanted to take us home. Back in the day I used to be somewhat competent with French, so I was spewing all sorts of garbled half sentences in my drunken state. They seemed amused by the effort. So, Kaitlyn has this thing about making out with girls, I get it, it’s definitely fun sometimes, and seeing the look on boys faces is just classic, you can practically hear the PING as their boner hits the inside of their jeans. But on Thursday she was really feeling it and I swear the cab driver and the one French boy with us got the show of their lives.
So we walk into their little house on the west side and it's bare. I'm talking, no furniture, a couple chairs in a circle in a basement, bare. There are a couple of their room mates just chilling there who are obviously sober and they are all half chit-chatting in French while we awkwardly sway in place trying to look less drunk than we were. This lasted for about 5 minutes before we gtfoutta there. We promptly proceeded to cab home to A's place and finish our night with some good ol' fashioned drunken girl time.
Today's title brought to you by: Anna Sun - Walk the Moon
So friends we’ve been at it yet again. Thursday night my wonderful roommate from university came down to visit me and A in Toronto to party hardy. She’s heard many a story of how we tear it up and couldn’t resist the opportunity to see for herself. SO, Thursday starts at 8pm with a few strong drinks while we decide what bar to hit up. We end up choosing the Madison Ave. Pub and head on over around 11. Because of where we started off we didn’t end up getting there till midnight. There was a slight line and we could see by the throngs of people outside, that it was definitely the right place to spend our night.
The poor girl in front of us in line was teetering in her little white peep toes, ankles rolling left and right. The bouncer told her, “no way, too drunk”, as her friends complained that they couldn’t afford to cab her home, insisting that she would be fine. In the end he sent her wobbling off towards a cab, a merry band of bitties moping and bitching behind her. This made us all somewhat nervous as we were not the picture of sober ourselves. We were twiddling our thumbs in line trying to look nonchalant and I hear someone yelling my name. I turn around and there, heading towards the club, is the little sister of one of the boys me and A went to high school with. Once inside we had to grab a drink together and were marveling at how old we had gotten (last time I saw her she couldn’t have been more than 15). I of course felt mature and wise in her and her friend’s presence and donned a little drunken wisdom on their innocent minds...hah
After the girls went their way, A, my roommate (aka Kaitlyn) and I, went to grab some drinks. We grabbed a table and were there for about three seconds before two guys came over to us. One of them was wearing a green and white knitted sweater that was actually quite awesome, but definitely not normal bar attire. I am sad to say I was just a little bit of a bitch and totally called him out on it. I was joking but I think he took it to heart...my bad. Anyways neither of them was particularly cute and after A and I exchanged a knowing glance we headed out to the (awesome!) patio for a smoke. I should mention that although Kaitlyn was technically with us, she was repeatedly distracted and detained by male attention. She is legitimately one of the most beautiful girls I know, but due to our preppy-jock-jerk populated university, she isn’t used to being hit on very often.
Anyhoo, out on the patio A ran into some pals from school and Kaitlyn and I went to make some friends. We met a few nice guys who we saw repeatedly through the night, but they weren’t really what we were looking for. At one point on the patio while deciding where to go, I noticed a sexxxy boy with messy shoulder length blonde hair and spacers in his ears. I pretty much immediately decided that was where we needed to be and saddled up right beside him on the bench seat. Kaitlyn took his Irish friend and unfortunately A got stuck with the ‘grenade’ of the group. She was practically rolling her eyes while he desperately tried to start a flirtatious conversation with her. I could see her ancy disinterest and her prying glances. As much as I would have loved to let her go do her own thing while I got acquainted with Matt (happens to be my favourite name..which I told him repeatedly), with her broken phone and track record of getting lost, I wasn’t willing to let her go off by herself. So I left Matt with my phone number and a kiss and went off to find some better prospects for both of us. Kaitlyn stayed behind to soak up some luck of the Irish...
A and I went off to the d.floor and fended off many a creeper as they slinked their eel-ish arms around our waists. Before long it was lights up and we were forced to find Kaitlyn and get out of there. Seeing as our party didn’t really start till 12 we all decided that we desperately wanted an after party. Earlier in the night one of A’s old boy toys invited us to one, but due to her fucked up phone and the large crowd we couldn’t find him. However, the idea had been planted and we needed to find something. While having a smoke and scouring the masses we met some very nice French boys who decided they wanted to take us home. Back in the day I used to be somewhat competent with French, so I was spewing all sorts of garbled half sentences in my drunken state. They seemed amused by the effort. So, Kaitlyn has this thing about making out with girls, I get it, it’s definitely fun sometimes, and seeing the look on boys faces is just classic, you can practically hear the PING as their boner hits the inside of their jeans. But on Thursday she was really feeling it and I swear the cab driver and the one French boy with us got the show of their lives.
So we walk into their little house on the west side and it's bare. I'm talking, no furniture, a couple chairs in a circle in a basement, bare. There are a couple of their room mates just chilling there who are obviously sober and they are all half chit-chatting in French while we awkwardly sway in place trying to look less drunk than we were. This lasted for about 5 minutes before we gtfoutta there. We promptly proceeded to cab home to A's place and finish our night with some good ol' fashioned drunken girl time.
Today's title brought to you by: Anna Sun - Walk the Moon
Thursday, 17 November 2011
All of the lights, cop lights, flashlights, spot lights, strobe lights, street lights, all of the lights
May 11
So, you may (or may not) be wondering what this is about. Pretty much me and my bestie, A, get up to some pretty awesome adventures, and I hoped that the world like might to hear. Right now my life is semi-lame since I’m on the hunt for a job, but I’ll set you up with a view of where I stand.
Right now I have a few boys floating around my life, one of whom A and I met last week at a bar.
The first night we were reunited from being in separate provinces for school we decided to “get a couple beers and watch the game” (hockey of course, I’m a good Canadian). Three pitchers later, we were way passed buzzed. The bar we were at had a UFC promotional event, so we were forcibly moved from our table to make way for some amateur boxing (weird right?). Anyways, being the social butterflies that we are, A went right up to a table of two guys and asked to join them. They happily obliged. After about 5 minutes it became obvious who was taking which one. A got the hot dj with sick dreads, while I landed the cute, blue eyed, baby face. We were both happy with it.
After some more beer and lots of flirting we all headed out. The boys were headed South, while A and I were on our way back to her pad on the East end. We all exchanged numbers, but typical drunk A broke the fuck out of her new bberry a few nights later. So I was/am the middle man for her and her boy as well as keeping up communication between me and mine. On Friday her boy, Dave, was djing at a pub near my area, and the boys invited us down to join them.
That same night my friend the firefighter was having a little shindig at his place, a mere 15 minute walk away from my place. So for starters me and A polished off a bottle of wine there. Finally at midnight we decided we needed more of an adventure than 10 people in a basement, so we went off to meet our boys. They had been more than convinced that we were no-shows, so their excitement at the sight of our badass selves was pretty obvious. A and I split up and chatted the night away with our respective boys until last call. After that it was a quick cab ride to paradise.
No I’m not talking about the sex that we had later on (less than satisfactory). The place that we stayed was purely unreal. Dave had a thirty-something-th floor condo literally overlooking the Skydome, just blocks away from the CN tower. With floor to ceiling windows, the whole city was laid out in bright lights in front of us. Needless to say I had a shit-fit. A tried to calm me down as I darted around the apartment taking pictures with my crappy cell phone repeating, "ohmygodohmygod". It’s not like I come from a shit hole, or even lower class living, but this place was simply amazing and I definitely appreciated it. SO, Friday night was spent enjoying the lap of luxury with two very agreeable boys.
Saturday morning I awoke to my boy, Trevor, leaving for baseball home opener game. Despite the fact that he was not the best lay, he was very considerate, and after a night of being too drunk to finish, and my promise to help him out in the morning, he respected my hung-over-as-fuck self, and instead of waking up to a bj, I woke up to a back massage. Lucky, lucky me. So he’s gone, two hours later A wakes me up, glowing from morning sex, and we prepare to head out. After a d-e-licious lunch at the Queen Mother Cafe we head down to Toronto’s annual Freedom Festival, aka the Marijuana March. I can tell you with full confidence that smoking a few joints with your best friends in the sun is the absolute best way to ride out a hang over. So that pretty much brings me to today. Job hunting continues to suck my soul, but soon enough I’ll be up to more adventures. Until then, peace and love.
Today's title is brought to you by: All of the Lights - Kanye West
So, you may (or may not) be wondering what this is about. Pretty much me and my bestie, A, get up to some pretty awesome adventures, and I hoped that the world like might to hear. Right now my life is semi-lame since I’m on the hunt for a job, but I’ll set you up with a view of where I stand.
Right now I have a few boys floating around my life, one of whom A and I met last week at a bar.
The first night we were reunited from being in separate provinces for school we decided to “get a couple beers and watch the game” (hockey of course, I’m a good Canadian). Three pitchers later, we were way passed buzzed. The bar we were at had a UFC promotional event, so we were forcibly moved from our table to make way for some amateur boxing (weird right?). Anyways, being the social butterflies that we are, A went right up to a table of two guys and asked to join them. They happily obliged. After about 5 minutes it became obvious who was taking which one. A got the hot dj with sick dreads, while I landed the cute, blue eyed, baby face. We were both happy with it.
After some more beer and lots of flirting we all headed out. The boys were headed South, while A and I were on our way back to her pad on the East end. We all exchanged numbers, but typical drunk A broke the fuck out of her new bberry a few nights later. So I was/am the middle man for her and her boy as well as keeping up communication between me and mine. On Friday her boy, Dave, was djing at a pub near my area, and the boys invited us down to join them.
That same night my friend the firefighter was having a little shindig at his place, a mere 15 minute walk away from my place. So for starters me and A polished off a bottle of wine there. Finally at midnight we decided we needed more of an adventure than 10 people in a basement, so we went off to meet our boys. They had been more than convinced that we were no-shows, so their excitement at the sight of our badass selves was pretty obvious. A and I split up and chatted the night away with our respective boys until last call. After that it was a quick cab ride to paradise.
No I’m not talking about the sex that we had later on (less than satisfactory). The place that we stayed was purely unreal. Dave had a thirty-something-th floor condo literally overlooking the Skydome, just blocks away from the CN tower. With floor to ceiling windows, the whole city was laid out in bright lights in front of us. Needless to say I had a shit-fit. A tried to calm me down as I darted around the apartment taking pictures with my crappy cell phone repeating, "ohmygodohmygod". It’s not like I come from a shit hole, or even lower class living, but this place was simply amazing and I definitely appreciated it. SO, Friday night was spent enjoying the lap of luxury with two very agreeable boys.
Saturday morning I awoke to my boy, Trevor, leaving for baseball home opener game. Despite the fact that he was not the best lay, he was very considerate, and after a night of being too drunk to finish, and my promise to help him out in the morning, he respected my hung-over-as-fuck self, and instead of waking up to a bj, I woke up to a back massage. Lucky, lucky me. So he’s gone, two hours later A wakes me up, glowing from morning sex, and we prepare to head out. After a d-e-licious lunch at the Queen Mother Cafe we head down to Toronto’s annual Freedom Festival, aka the Marijuana March. I can tell you with full confidence that smoking a few joints with your best friends in the sun is the absolute best way to ride out a hang over. So that pretty much brings me to today. Job hunting continues to suck my soul, but soon enough I’ll be up to more adventures. Until then, peace and love.
Today's title is brought to you by: All of the Lights - Kanye West
Allow me to re-introduce myself
So I started this blog in May, before Love and my life, and as things got more serious with Aaron I had a need for emotional writing more than the fun stuff. Anyways because of the neglect I totally forgot my password for this other blog so it will be making a reappearance here. I'll start with the entries I already had and skip to now.
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May 9, 2010
Hello out there to the big wide emptiness. What up? For the purposes of keeping my secrets somewhat on the dl I am B. It’s hard to start these things, but I guess I’ll give a quick summary of myself.
Born and raised in Toronto, excluding the majority of my childhood spend in the south of British Colombia (best place in Canada). Grew up surrounded by the fellow children of my day care, spending most of my time either riding or tending to horses. Upon my move to Toronto I shed my tom-boy chic look (think bowl cut and black legging, riding pants) and attempted to be a pretty, city girl. This was in the early 2000s so that meant bright pink lips and lots of cute blue eye shadow (not to mention an unhealthy obsession with Lip Smackers).
When I was little I always looked up to the sex icons on TV, waiting for the day that I could join their big breasted, long legged club. I always expected highschool to be like the movies, the separated cliques and popularity contests, etc. Well maybe it was somewhere, but I was forcibly placed in a (co-ed thank GOD) private school. Another thank-God, I met my best friend who to this day (8yrs later) is my partner in crime; we’ll call her A.
In grade school an oh-so-wonderful little boy aptly nick-named me ‘tomato face’, due to the fact that if a boy even said, ‘hi’, to me I would be beet red. That lasted way past grade 5 unfortunately... and lead to my entrance into the loser-world of highschool. It was a tough time, I struggled with serious self-image issues and was simply convinced if I lost 10 pounds I would shoot to popularity. Not so. My eventual riseinto the glam world of the “popular kids” out of complete anonymity, was due to the fact that my parents have a kickass party house and a penchant for golf vacations. They are themselves partiers at heart and I learned everything I know from them (much to their dismay).
Highschool dragged on in a whirlwind of exploring drinking and pot, longing for the boy (we all had one in highschool right?). Eventually my wishes on pennys in fountains were granted when I reconnected with the very same boy that gave me my ‘tomato face’ identity. He was my first love, and I’ll never be able to explain how much I appreciate how he helped me become me. We dated off and on for 2 years. He loved me unconditionally, but as soon as he came into my life it was like something clicked in every other guy’s head and I became visible. That was unfortunate for him (Matt), as in my need to explore my newly found sexual identity there were quite a few infidelities.
That leads me to University. This big wide world was a whole-nother-ball game for me. Boys were popping out of no where and they could definitely see me. I remain in the land of boys, although have returned to my beloved city for the summer. Since university I have been through five main boys, Matt, Brian, Jeremy, Aaron and Luke. Except for the last, I had thoroughly built my reputation as a man-eating heartbreaker. Within 3 years all five of these boys fell in love with me at one point or another. I earnestly loved each one of them in my own way, but in the end they all went down the same. Except for Luke, but that’s a sob story for my other blog.
Since Luke, I have been between wallowing in weed and exploring the world of single sex, vehemently. Not to mention a few narcotics here and there. I guess that’s where I leave off for now. Stay tuned for the adventures.
Today's title brought to you by: Dirt Off Ya Shoulder - Jay Z
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May 9, 2010
Hello out there to the big wide emptiness. What up? For the purposes of keeping my secrets somewhat on the dl I am B. It’s hard to start these things, but I guess I’ll give a quick summary of myself.
Born and raised in Toronto, excluding the majority of my childhood spend in the south of British Colombia (best place in Canada). Grew up surrounded by the fellow children of my day care, spending most of my time either riding or tending to horses. Upon my move to Toronto I shed my tom-boy chic look (think bowl cut and black legging, riding pants) and attempted to be a pretty, city girl. This was in the early 2000s so that meant bright pink lips and lots of cute blue eye shadow (not to mention an unhealthy obsession with Lip Smackers).
When I was little I always looked up to the sex icons on TV, waiting for the day that I could join their big breasted, long legged club. I always expected highschool to be like the movies, the separated cliques and popularity contests, etc. Well maybe it was somewhere, but I was forcibly placed in a (co-ed thank GOD) private school. Another thank-God, I met my best friend who to this day (8yrs later) is my partner in crime; we’ll call her A.
In grade school an oh-so-wonderful little boy aptly nick-named me ‘tomato face’, due to the fact that if a boy even said, ‘hi’, to me I would be beet red. That lasted way past grade 5 unfortunately... and lead to my entrance into the loser-world of highschool. It was a tough time, I struggled with serious self-image issues and was simply convinced if I lost 10 pounds I would shoot to popularity. Not so. My eventual rise
Highschool dragged on in a whirlwind of exploring drinking and pot, longing for the boy (we all had one in highschool right?). Eventually my wishes on pennys in fountains were granted when I reconnected with the very same boy that gave me my ‘tomato face’ identity. He was my first love, and I’ll never be able to explain how much I appreciate how he helped me become me. We dated off and on for 2 years. He loved me unconditionally, but as soon as he came into my life it was like something clicked in every other guy’s head and I became visible. That was unfortunate for him (Matt), as in my need to explore my newly found sexual identity there were quite a few infidelities.
That leads me to University. This big wide world was a whole-nother-ball game for me. Boys were popping out of no where and they could definitely see me. I remain in the land of boys, although have returned to my beloved city for the summer. Since university I have been through five main boys, Matt, Brian, Jeremy, Aaron and Luke. Except for the last, I had thoroughly built my reputation as a man-eating heartbreaker. Within 3 years all five of these boys fell in love with me at one point or another. I earnestly loved each one of them in my own way, but in the end they all went down the same. Except for Luke, but that’s a sob story for my other blog.
Since Luke, I have been between wallowing in weed and exploring the world of single sex, vehemently. Not to mention a few narcotics here and there. I guess that’s where I leave off for now. Stay tuned for the adventures.
Today's title brought to you by: Dirt Off Ya Shoulder - Jay Z
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