Gave up on this blog for almost two years...... Well I’m back at it biatches! Actually I’ve been at it this whole time, but I’ve neglected to write it down. It’s really a shame because there have been some epic tales to be told. To make up for it, conjoined with my renewed goal to keep up with writing, I am hoping to relate some of them here. Don’t expect any kind of relation between tales or chronological order. Not much different from past posts... hah.
Okay lets go!
An important discovery I have made on my destructive party path was that the best, most wild and crazy nights always happen unexpectedly. One minute you’re in your sweatpants, no hope of drinking or meeting a boy, the next you’re in heels dancing back stage at a concert. It was on a night like this that Kaitlyn and I decided to get dressed up nice and go out for a dinner, curtesy of a gift card I had received for my birthday. We put on some sophisticated-yet-sexy outfits and headed out. The restaurant wasn’t busy despite it being Friday night, but we weren’t concerned. A bottle of wine and a couple appetizers was all we had signed up for. Home before midnight. I even wore out my Jeffery Cambell, beautiful, 4 inch heels. Standing at 5’”11 ft tall, if that doesn’t say, ‘there is no way in hell I’m dancing, let alone standing in these past 11pm,’ then nothing does.
After our little date I managed to convince Kaitlyn to go for a gin and tonic at one of her favorite spots in the city: the Thompson Hotel. It’s a gorgeous modern styled hotel with a beautiful lounge bar that the young, rich and beautiful go to mingle. While we like to think of ourselves as young and beautiful, there is no lying to ourselves about being broke as fuck. We didn’t look out of place, but dropping 16 bucks on two drinks made us feel a little out of our league.
We chatted about other people at the bar, scoping everyone out and guessing little stories about them. Two girls were going tits out for drinks across the bar and they became a topic of conversation for some time. They were dressed up in dresses with bare legs in 2 degree weather, cleavage all but bursting from their silky constraints. It wasn’t all for naught though, they had a group of about four men around them who seemed more than happy to throw twenty dollar bills at the bartender in the name of boobs. Okay, it might seem like I’m painting these girls in a negative light, but in all honesty, my and Kaitlyn’s conversation about them was mostly giving them props. I can respect a girl who goes to bars and wheels drinks out of the men who would ogle them anyways.
While we stood bar-side, our friend Caleb called us and asked what we were up to for the night. Well we tried to resist, but not only did he and his friends agree to pay for our cover to the bar they were headed to, but also agreed to buy us a couple drinks. At this point Kaitlyn’s feeling pretty good and I never pass up an opportunity for free drinks, so we agreed to meet them there.
Kaitlyn and I arrived before the group and went up to grab a drink. What Caleb had told us was that we were in for a night of heavy dubstep, which was something we used to be into, and I could have gotten excited about if not for the totally inappropriate dancing shoes. It was the night after halloween, so when we arrived the girl at the door was dressed up like Nicki Minaj. There was a group of about ten people along one end of the bar and no one else. This will probably come off the wrong way but it isn’t intended to have any kind of implication. Everybody there was black. Kaitlyn, being milatto, made us seem a bit less out of place but I felt a bit like her white girl accessory. As the bar filled up and our friends came to join us we started to realize that this was, in fact, not dubstep night.
The music was all rap and r&b, which Kaitlyn and I were actually thrilled about. One important thing to mention is; a small circular stage, featuring a tall pole protruding from the center, in the middle of the dance floor. I have an affinity for pole dancing... may have been a stripper in a past life. In keeping with the theme of this blog, I am pretty shameless when put in the same room as alcohol and a pole. As I considered the potential reception from the group of people I was with, the MC announced that there would be a $500 prize for the best girl to dance alone on the pole. That was enough to tip the scales for me. When I had my chance I climbed up on stage and got to work. Winding and grinding and attempting to flip my hair like a pro, as god knows what song blared through the speakers. There was a lot of ass-grabbing and slapping and soon enough the crowd began to chant, “Go white girl! Go white girl!”. I shit you not. Part of me wishes I could see the video of it that definitely was filmed. The other part of me hopes to never see any part of that.
Kaitlyn’s badass moment of the night came when she nutted up and got on stage herself, if only for a minute. I guess that the general male population had seen her around the bar, and when she finally got on stage everyone began cheering and clapping loudly. It was a good fucking night. Ended up smoking bowls and listening to music till the early hours of the morn.
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